Unprofessional Professionals?

OH MY FUCKING GOSH is all I have to say right now. I’m so upset with this one councelor. You’ll never guess what she did to me. Ugh.

Okay, so what happened is about a month ago my friends from group went to this councelor at our school to change what period we had group. I was so depressed that day. I spent most of the period before crying in a bathroom stall. She agreed to change the time we had group and sent us on our way, except one of my best friends (the friend I wrote about previously). She kept her in her office to talk. I waited for her because I’m a codependent loser.

As I was waiting I saw another one of my good friends. She looked at me and asked is I was okay. I shook my hea no and started bawling. She grabbed me and hugged me. Then the councelor’s office door flew open and I heard her say “ugh, why are you crying now?” I looked up and started to cry harder. “Just get in my office.” She said as she walked away. I didn’t want to leave my friend because she gave me more comfort than this lady, but I did.

I walked into her office and say down. I started sobbing really hard again. She left me there for a minute to do who knows what. When she came back she looked me straight in the eyes and said “Carolyn, I don’t know what to do with you anymore. You’re so needy and emotional. I can’t take it.” That’s when I died inside. She literally said that to me and she’s a professional councelor. “I’m going to call your mother about this.” She said more as a threat than a statement. I didn’t say anything. I just sat there crying. “What class do you have now?” She asked grabbing a pen to write me a pass. I swear my jaw must have hit the ground. “what??” She said genuinely not understanding my dismay. I was just sobbing and she wants to send me back to class. I told her I had lunch, but I didn’t feel well enough to go. She said “You’re fine. Just go.” I walked out and went to lunch.

My friend who consoled me earlier, Meghan, was there. I bitched to her about how upset I was. Me and everyone else in our general vicinity were trashing this councelor. I was so unstable and upset. I skipped my next class because I just couldn’t go.

If that wasn’t bad enough, more crap with this lady happened last week. So my mom called another councelor asking if I could switch to her, because I bitched to my mom about what happened. She agreed to see me, but I had to meet with that bitch first. On Tuesday I got up the courage to do it. I went into her office and talked to her. She told me she was upset that day. She had two other girls who came to her crying and she had to deal with them. So she took her anger out on me. I was upset. And she had to take care of two other girls. God fucking forbid I come along and for the first time ask for the help I deserve! She could deal with two other girls but not me. Not the suicidal, bulimic, mentally ill selfharmer?! What the absolute fuck. I was fuming. I told her that I don’t want to se her anymore. She tried to convince me that I’m being irrational. irrational? IRRATIONAL?! I think you were being irrational when you fucking kicked me out! I told her that I was done, I wanted to talk to the other councelor and I didn’t want to be in group anymore. She said fine.

Now my poor mother is being dragged into this shit. She has to meet with both of them just so I can see this other lady. This councelor is going to fucking antagonize my poor mother. She’s lied to my mother telling her I said all this crap when I didn’t. Who knows what she’ll say to her this time!

I am so fed up with people on their high horse. I’m not even afraid to say her name anymore. Why should I be so kind as to conceal her identity?! This bitch, Debra Deren, deserves to be put out of work! She is so unprofessional. In fact, I hope she somehow stumbles upon this post. If she does, this is all I have to say to her.

You hurt me. You may have even ruined me. I came to you for help once, and you turned me down. You hurt me more than I’ve ever been hurt before. Thanks for nothing, bitch.